all by myself.

LSp is away in Scotland and I have been here all by myself.

well me, 2 dogs, 1 gerbil and a barely here daughter.

I have come to realise 1 thing. I miss her so much.

We have been together for 15 years and we are apart for 1-2 weeks per year. So I should be used to it by now. I am not.

Silences are more silent when you are in a room on your own. I am very comfortable with silence. I can sit in silence with someone else in the room for a long time. it is hard having the silence of having no one else there.

we do a lot of things together.

I drag her round lots of shops she hates. I hate going on my own, I want her view, her perspective even when I know she will disagree.

I cant imagine life apart.

and when she gets back we have 5 days together.  Bliss. x

In other news. I will not be watching Titanic in 3D although I would like to sneak a bubble machine in for when the ship sinks.

Yes I think strange/cruel thoughts like that sometimes. After watching the woman in black I though how funny it would be to hide in the cinema, (dressed as the woman in black) and then when it was getting super scary to just stand in the corner of the cinema.

happy Tuesday everyone.

Being Wifely.

Before I start, You might want to make a cup of tea as this is going to be a long one.

Today we were supposed to be staying in but we switched our plans as there is going to be snow.
This morning, as Saturday Mornings often do started with housework. Stripping beds, dusting, tidying, organising, sorting etc.

I turned my attention to my wardrobe which had become a jumbled mess. The idea was take the mess, put things in a bad for the charity shop and tidy what's left.

Sorted! 

I managed a full bag for the charity shop and then once I had finished in the bedroom, I went into the loft and picked up the 3 other bags I had sorted from there as well as 6 bags for the recycling centre. 

By the time all this was done it was lunch time, so LSP and I tucked into cheese with oatcakes and onion marmalade. 

Ok, so it was 12.30 

We had to go to the charity shop, the recycling centre, TKmaxx and Tesco and be back in time for the Rugby  at 5pm. 

Charity shop, 4 bags in, nothing came out and we have sorted out gift aid for our donations. 

Recycling centre, no queue. (well it was freezing cold) 6 bags of rubbish out of the house and recycled. 

TKmaxx, I went as I heard on blogger that they may have had some CK delivered. Alas none to the one by us. However, I did see an amazing rug.

All made from old mens tie's. An idea I will steal. 

Ok so all there was left to do was Tesco. Now, it seemed like the whole world wanted to get to Tesco before the Rugby started. It was horrible. I was on my own as while we were out one of the bulbs in the car had gone so LSP went to get it fixed while I trugded round the aisles. Every now ans then we have to do a Tesco shop to stock up on the things that Aldi and Lidl do not sell such as no salt Bisto and orkney oatcakes. 

I was in there for so long, it felt like I was in Purgatory, I did not even fill a large trolley, I wanted to get finished so we could get back for the Rugby. 

We did get back, in time. 

LSP decamped to the sofa to sit and watch the Rugby. I have very little interest in the Rugby, Just the result. (go England) 

I settled LSP with, 

and got on with the other jobs. 

It amazing what you can achieve during a rugby match. 

I lit the fire, unpacked the shopping, made the dinner, made the beds, hung up 2 loads of washing, folded the dry washing reloaded the washing machine and got in some coal. 

All the time that I was doing this I thought about how much I love being a wife, doing wifely things, the cooking and shopping etc I love making a comfy home for us to share. 

However I am not technically a wife. 

LSP and I are not married. not because we do not want to be. 

Because it is not allowed. My Long Suffering Partner is a Woman. 

We have been together for 15 years and have been in a civil partnership for the past 5 years. 

There is nothing different about our relationship to a hetrosexual relationship. Our tasks and labour is divided. I cook, we clean, LSP does the finances, drives the car, sorts out the dogs, washes up, cleans the drains, mows the lawn etc, I do everything I blog about doing. 

The world has changed a lot over the 15 years we have been together, we have raised 2 children, been able to be recognised as partners. Attitudes towards gay and lesbian people have moved on. 

However, I have not mentioned it in my blog before. I dont know why, its important and not important all at the same time. Everyone assumes that everyone else is heterosexual. I was reminded of this on Friday. 

After work, I went shopping in Monsoon and LSP went shopping in a phone shop. I had just left monsoon when i had a call from LSP saying that she had sold my phone and I needed to come to the phone shop. 

LSP had bought me a new phone for valentines day and had part exchanged my old one at the same time as getting herself a new phone. She said to the sales assistant that she would give the other half a call and when she had established that I was close by, let them know and was asked how soon her husband would be there.  They were surprised when I walked in. 

So, here we are, LSP and I are tucked up in front of the fire, The snow is getting thicker outside and we are watching Birdsong on BBC iplayer as the snow has knocked out the Sky signal. 

The fire is keeping us toasty and warm, the dogs asleep in front of the fire. 

I am hoping that the snow is still around in the morning as a brisk walk with the camera may be in order. 

Day 2.....

Well I have discovered that I am not mad! There are many other people who are doing without over lent, My LSP (Long Suffering Partner), is giving up crisps, to anyone who know's LSP they know this is a huge sacrifice.

I have discovered many people in blogland who are doing the same. I have been inspired by  Midnight Maniac  and have pledged to do without for 40 days. Midnight Maniac is going without meat and clothes shopping. Tea and Crumpets  is also doing without clothes shopping for 40 days!

So today was day 2, Busy day so no time to think about shopping, that is until lunch time. A lunch break is very important to me, There was a time when I rarely had one, however. I only get paid for a 7.5 hour day. I start at 08:30 and finish at 17:00. If I do not take a lunch break then I am giving 1 hour of my time for free, as much as I love my job I am not a volunteer especially in the current climate of pay cuts. I am less inclined to donate my services.  I try to have one at least 4 times per week (crisis permitting).

So its lunch time and I am hungry, I walk down to the shop and pick up a salad, walk back to my desk and eat my Salad, As I am eating I find myself reading my email's, drafting an email and before I know it I am working!!! Admittedly I am shovelling Salad at the same time but this is still work.

I considered going for a walk however the wind was blowing a gale and the rain was starting so a walk was not top of my list!

So I take myself off to the library for the last 1/2 hour of my lunch break. I started by Joining the library. Shocking I know, I am 35 and not a member. But I am now. I had a nice wander around then headed up to the local studies section. I love genealogy. So I spent some time looking through the history book's written about my village.

It was a fab way to spend a lunch break, nearly as good as going for a spot of shopping!!!!

Its raining again......

I sit here writing this blog listening to the sound of the traffic zooming through the puddles...........

I awoke at 5am as planned, which to be fair was a bit of a surprise as i only went to sleep at 12.30. As i went down stairs in the quiet and dark house i could hear the rain lashing at the windows. As I opened the bathroom window I could see the rain hitting the puddles of standing water and was glad to step into the hot shower. After completing my ablutions I pottered downstairs until 6am when it was time to awake my LSP (long suffering partner). This getting up at the crack of dawn is my idea and LSP has reluctantly agreed to go along with it. However, it was while trying to awake LSP that we remembered one of us was working from home today! After this revelation LSP was no longer required to be awake and did not want to (I wonder why)! now the sensible thing for me to have done would have been to get dressed and then go downstairs and continue pottering, make breakfast and my lunch to take to work with me, sort out the dogs ect! this is the reason for getting up at 5am. It would not be sensible to lay down on the bed and think I will just listen to the radio for another 5 minutes......

Which do you think i was sensible? or not sensible?

yes you guessed it ....................The next thing i know is it is 07.45 and I have 15 minutes to get dressed, pack my bag and get to the bus stop.

Do i just pick a straightforward outfit maybe some pull on trousers Dan a blouse or do i think that it would be a good idea to wear a skirt, tights, long boots with big zips, top with co-ordinating cardie???
Yes many people admired my choice of skirt and the whole ensable! It took 10 minutes to choose and put on, which left me with 5 minutes to sort out everything else.

I  left the house dressed and with a bag! no lunch and not having had any breakfast.

This lead me on to another obstacle, the traffic. i was not attempting to cross the road, merly walk down the pavement without being hit by successive tidal waves as each passing car and lorry caused a wake of water behind them.  To the observer it must have been amusing, I would run a bit the  dart into a gateway as the next car went past then make a run for it again.

It was all going well...........there had been no Jerk's trying to deliberately splash me, no one going ridiculously fast until i was faced with a lorry, I had nowhere to go, I had ran out of pavement, i was as close to the verge as i could be without standing on the fence, the lorry was as far over as he could be whilst remaining on his side of the road, the steady stream of traffic on the opposite side prevented him from getting any further over. His wide girth made it inevitable...

I got splashed, splashed all up the side of my leg I then felt a big sploosh of water landing inside my boot. I squelched my way to the bus  stop and waited for the (thankfully) late bus.

(bit of a diary one tonight, hope you like it, please comment)